he saw

he raised his hand to her
she flinched...
he saw,
for the first time...
he saw her flinch and it did something to him...
it shamed him in a way nothing else could...
for a moment, finally, he saw himself through her eyes,
through her pain...pain he himself had caused...
and then, he saw his past...
he remembered his father hitting his mother...
the alcohol on his breath not enough to numb
the pain in that man's heart
and the bruises on his mother's face,
nothing like the bruises scarring her weary soul...
he saw his woman flinch and it was enough to make him
lower his fist...
make him look deeper into his wounded self...
it made him be accountable...for the first time in forever...
he took a step toward responsibility...
he took a step toward healing...
and after much work...
and after much honesty and deep, deep reflection...
the next time he raised his hand...
she didn't flinch...
he placed his hand on her beautiful face
and he cherished her...
and...
he cherished himself...

the best i can be...

sometimes you just gotta accept
that, the way things are
are simply, just the way things are...
the cliche 'it is what it is'
is by it's simplicity
such a truth...
my brother hurts and he lashes out at me...
the only brother i have left, i only hope that someday,
he'll realize his own truths and let me be me...
my best friend hurts, somehow, i failed her
and i don't even know how, but,
someday...i hope she'll have the patience to work with me...
and keep our old friendship new again...
my oldest friend and first real love took his own life...
and this, by far, has been the hardest reality to accept...
that he's gone and i have to keep on moving forward without him...
and there's not a damn thing i can do but to be the best i can be...
somehow, figure out what that is...
and be
the
best
i
can
be...

i am...

i want to visit the space between what once was and what can be
i want to create a better way than the way i have been living
i want to start right now, pick up my broken pieces and put them together
any damn way i please...
fuck the opinions of others,
and whether i fit the status quo...
the status quo never gave a shit about my joy...
i tire of agreements i never agreed to
i was born into the should be, should do, should feel concepts
created by others who were afraid to live authentic...
and here i am, here we all are,
trying to fit their mold...
i seek to break that mold,
i seek to breathe a real breath...
deep...
i want to walk in rain...write words that move people...
i want to sit with my children and listen to their ideas, their dreams...
i want to build m'self a sanctuary using the love that surrounds me,
lit by a light encompassed within me...
i want to dance in the moonlight and love with all my heart...
...and i will...
...and i am...
on my own terms...
with my own subtle uniqueness...
i am...

if i could stop time

if i could stop time,
i would hold your hand
and listen as you whispered your stories
soft into my listening.
i would watch your eyes
and see the delight your dreams inspire
your exuberance like that of a child
who believes anything is possible.
if i could stop time,
maybe i could buy more time
get to know you better
because, i know so little.
i don't know what the Universe has planned
i just know i've made my desires known
and maybe, just maybe you
are my deepest wish granted?
if i could stop time,
i would take control these anxieties
and figure out how to be grateful
for the moment.
i would ask to know you
the deepest part of you
find out if you really are...
real.

if i could only stop time...