Saturday, August 8, 2009

what more do i need....

beautiful, clear nite...
cool for arizona...welcome respite...
takin this puppy out, puppy i didn't want but...
i'm a sucka...my daughter knows i can't say know to a sweet little baby...
i sit here waitin for her to do her thing...
feels good...barefoot i am...
simple are my needs/wants...
good music, to know my friends and family are safe...
green grass and a bright moonlit nite...
what more do i need?

yeah...oh yeah...

Friday, August 7, 2009

let go and let be

i wanna let go and let be...
i want to see where the light leads me...
be like a child, filled with wonder...
as life unfolds in front of me...
i want to breathe deep the joy that comes
only after letting go...
i want to learn who i am and in the process...
feel the true freedom that is birthright to us all...

let go and let be...
no more meddling...
i am not the author of this story...
called my life...
i am merely a player...
and my life is more than just an egocentric trip
i got things to do...mountains to move...hearts to heal
i have truth to expose and depths to feel...

the power i carry within
will have an outlet if and only when...
i learn to let go and let be...
relax and focus on being the best me...
after all is said and done and i've been real to my purpose...
only then can i say i've truly lived a full and out loud life...

Thursday, August 6, 2009

find peace

through all my pain and sadness,
the light breaks thru and shines over me
warming my soul to the knowledge
that there is so much good in my world,
so much i have to be grateful for

my children, tho' not all with me
are happy and healthy
i have my own health back and
i am taking on the world
i am in command of my own destiny

this i must remember when times get rough
and they inevitably will
as inevitably as will the joyful times come
to find peace amidst both extremes
this be the only thing that really matters...

splendor of colors....

i see a world filled with a splendor of colors...
each wondrous soul trailing a vibrance of hues...
we know not our beauty, we have no idea our own worth...
we shroud ourselves in cloaks of dark pain and worthless guilts...
we judge ourselves and each other and we miss the truth that lies
right in front of our eyes...
not i...i am coming out of the darkness and the light...
oh the light...it hurts these eyes that seek only to see...
i will not look away, i will look into this light...
i will not accept just a mere glimpse...
i will gaze full on at the world around me...
and then, i will gaze full on at m'self...
i will cherish my colors, self perception opening to include love...
self love first, but a love that spreads out before me to encompass all that i see...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

i taught her well...

i taught my daughter to make sure she had back up when in an argument...
so, when she told me i was a bad mother...she did just what i'd taught her...
she had back up...evidence that in her young mind proved my lack as a mom...

yup...i taught my girl right...

nothin hurts like when your child tells you where you are wrong...even when you know she simply has no idea what you do, what you've sacrificed for her and her sisters...all she knows is what she knows and if that's how bad she feels...how well have i done?

listen to the silence...

listen to the silence...
she has a lot to say...
she speaks to you in thoughts you never voice...
in memories you keep locked inside...
in emotions you hide away from the world...
sometimes even from yourself...
listen to her, she is a quiet unto the quiet...
she makes no effort to be heard, she just is...
in this silence waits the truth, for you to hear...
beyond facades and political correctness...
away from the protection of well meaning people
who would shield you from pain you need to feel to feel alive...
pain you need to deal with if this life is to be yours to live and learn from...
listen to the silence...listen to her and heed that familiarity you sense
when you hear her voice...
that familiarity is no accident, this silence is no stranger...
for in this silence you will find yourself...