i've been putting on a show

i've been putting on a show. i've been running away from myself, hiding in places like Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest. i've been acting like i don't care as much that he hurt me when the truth is, my heart still bleeds...i'm just getting used to it. how can one man be so important that even his absence is like a kick in the gut. i have inundated my world with all things positive & i have reached out with as much optimism as i can muster. faking it, trying to make it...masking this intense pain with smiles that don't reach my eyes & laughter that sounds hollow to my own listening. is this really it? are you really going to let me go with texts & one phone call? and i have to make due with the realization that my emotions bring out the coward in you? coward? in the end, this is what hurts the most...that i love a coward. i don't want to accept this. i thought you were better than this. what a heartbreaking disappointment you turned out to be. and how disillusioned am i that i fell for it, hook, line & sinker. i let you con me. i let you hurt me. and now i have to pick up the pieces and figure out where they go. 

write the words

i want to write the words 
that make you think-
make you remember-
who you really are. 
i want to write the words
that make you look into
the deepest part of yourself
and see the perfection you
were born as, 
the perfection we are all born as. 
i want to write the words
that soothe your pain, 
that make you look out at the world
instead of at your feet, 
and make you feel proud. 
and when another tries to bring you down...
i want to write the words 
that empower you to face that person and say, 
"you can't take away my light, but, don't be afraid 
to gaze upon my brilliance because maybe, 
just maybe, this light of mine is bright enough to help
guide you home."
yea, i want to write the words. 
(just a 'not so' lil moeism by moetif)
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Let Go

She tried to hold what would not be held.
She tried to mend what would not heal.
She breathed through the pain her fragile heart felt
and looked up into the bright sky...searching,
praying to the laughing gods for some answer,
yet the answer was not held there, not in some far off place.
The answer was within her, had always been...
and the answer was so simple...
let go...just let go. 

WAKE UP!

there is a fury building from deep within my Spirit...i am viewing the events of this world and the incredible apathy of my fellow brothers and sisters...what is wrong with us?  how have we been able to justify to ourselves the enormous cruelties we have allowed upon one another, other species that share our world and, the world Herself?  how can we in society think for one minute that it's ok to tell another how to live their life, who to love, where they are allowed to stand within the boundries of societal existence?  it is sickening to watch people behave in anger over a plate of food they certainly do not need, as they sit at their tables in restaurants with their noses in the air because their 'experience' is not up to par, meanwhile, children all over the world, to include this country, starve.  how can we walk with our heads held high screaming God's hate to a group of people and then turn around and preach an all loving and fair God in church...what sense does this make?  What sense does anything make when soldiers all over the world die in the name of freedom when the reality is, they die in the name of greed, power, money...and we all know it!  we are not stupid but, we pretend stupidity...we turn a blind eye to truth and it is infuriating....wake up!  a change is needed...a change is coming...WAKE UP!

three goals

1.  financial independence while doing what i love, creating & writing

2.  bring all my children together regularly so that they may rekindle their bond as sisters

3.  travel the world

you matter

"I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through. Listen to this music." - Hafiz (fourteenth century Persian poet & Sufi master)...

you are so valued because you are a note to a universal & sacred song...
you are a brush stroke whose color vividly adds to a grand masterpiece...
you exist & that means you matter...
so, stay awhile because no one can ever take your place & the light you carry may very well be the light someone else just as sacred as you needs to find their way out of the darkness...(moetif)