he listened

he stood off in the shadows, hidden, listening...
he listened to her silent tears,
he heard her pain, her quiet sadness...
he respected her strength, borne from her weakness...
he stood off, listening and he heard her...
all that a woman could ask...he simply listened
and in that listening, he heard her...

do i want to be right or do i want to be happy?

Your condescending manner and patronizing tone belie your own sense of insecurity.
I sense this and choose not to personalize or internalize your lack of self worth,
rather, if I can rise above your attempts at bringing me down, perhaps I can be your subconscious
inspiration and by my example lead you to a place of understanding.
Whatever the outcome, understand this; my self esteem is not dependent upon whether or not you agree with me, as your voice gets louder and you try to bait me.
In fact, I'm going to take this one step further and say, in this moment I am facing a choice;
do I want to be right or do I want to be happy.
Frankly, happy gets my vote every time...run along now, I'll let you be right.

responsibility

tearing down old ways of thinking…
discovering new realms hidden within…i’ll be damned….within ME!
all life is a creative process, whether realized or not, conscious or unconscious…
this is hard! how does one break out of years of intensely ingrained beliefs?
and never mind sharing your discovery with others…people are quick to knock down what is unfamiliar…
but “it” insists, this creative concept takes a seat in your mind and does not leave your thoughts…
“it” hangs out, sometimes deep inside your psyche, other times on the tail feathers of your musings…
once entertained, the concept that we are individually responsible for our worlds and all they entail never truly leaves us…
once explored, we are reborn with a sense that we are generators of all that exists within our experience…

responsibility, a powerful place to stand…

change your thoughts

change your thoughts, you change your life, you change your family’s relationship, you change your community, you change your city, your state, your nation and eventually….change your world…


but no…people hang on to the ill conceived notion that they are destined for misery…and they have all the evidence in the world to back up this insane, inane belief…as soon as yet another unfortunate event crosses their path, they hang on to it, they hold it up for all to see, they use it as a means to gain the sympathy of others…they may not do so conciously, but they’re doing it…i know, i used to as well…

but something happened…i ain’t gonna claim i’m healed, it takes work fo damn sho’…hehehe…it’s called surrender, it’s called taking responsibility, it’s called making a choice to learn from my life rather than be victim to it…it’s called…

….changing my thoughts…

There but for the grace of God…

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these. ~George Washington Carver
There but for the grace of God go I…or…there because of the grace of God must I go if I am to become all that I can be. There is so much power in us…yet, we don’t realize this until we are tested. How will we know the profound depth of our own strength if we are never knocked down? It is when we are down that we have the opportunity before us to find a way to get up. Once up, we are then presented with another opportunity, call it a choice. We can choose to be a victim or, we can look upon the scar and see that we are so much stronger for it. There must come a time when we look back on our pain and cherish it…honor the lesson presented for us to learn from if we so choose. It’s some scary shit…but, it is so needed. The light can’t know itself without venturing into the dark…

the good stuff

that easy feelin…oh yeah…

summer breeze blowin white, cotton curtains

through an open window…

smell of jasmine and lavender on a hot day,

children running barely clothed thru tall grasses,

laughter floats in,

tickles my soul, brings a smile to my face…

feel of a good man, kisses soft, hands caress…

minds connect, spirits entwined…good stuff…

music to sway to, unbidden beats…aww, can’t help it…

get up, dance barefoot in the bedroom, to the kitchen…

pour a tall glass of lemonade, wipe the sweat from his brow…

bodies still hot from sex just had…damn…

the good stuff remains…in me, in him, in you…let it be…let it flow…

nothin but peace, love…pure, real…

experience it, let it be…no walls, no definitions…it just is…

and, yes, oh yes…this is good…the good stuff…

jagged new puzzle piece

As I sit here, under this light, next to this fountain, nursing this jagged new puzzle piece for my heart to fit together with all my other jagged puzzle pieces...I gaze up at a sliver of moon and the moonchild within me sighs - sadness, mixed with confusion, laced with mistrust, interwoven with hurt.  She sighs and within her exhale she breathes out a silent plea for help...as her quiet calling goes out into the night, she...me...I entreat the gods for answers, I implore the Spirits for comfort, I beg my ancestors for strength and understanding.  Strength to get me past a new anger that seeks to find a place inside me beside all my old angers.  Understanding to help me see I am not the only one searching, making mistakes and as much as he has trespassed upon my fragile heart, so have I transgressed upon others.  I feel a breeze soft thru my hair, falling gentle upon my skin, as though my sigh had circled back to me, my Spirit converging with Spirits of those long since passed on but, in essence remaining, ever watchful...and then, the small, quiet voice within offers an answer soft but clear. "I am my own healing and with every blow to my delicate psyche, I must salve my own pain if the mending of my soul is to be true."  This realization fucking sucks...point blank, blunt and on the real.  My desire to hand these struggles off to someone stronger so intense...I just want someone to fix me, make this goddamn pain disappear; but a coward I am not, and so, with my tenaciousness dictating my every move, I take hold my sword and move forward, even as I am struck down, again and again and again.  I always get back up.  Someday I know my trials and toils will give way to peace and as I sit here, under this light, next to this fountain, gazing up at a sliver of moon...the moonchild within me sighs again.