Monday, September 23, 2013

quiet...

i remember my dad taking us to the Mogollan Rim (i was 8 yrs old)...i walked to a huge, flat rock that extended over the cliff & sat down cross legged, like i was getting ready to hear a story at the foot of a great storyteller, only the storyteller was the Wind as She moved through the trees i gazed out on...so many trees, so many different kinds of green! i remember that breathing in & out deeply & mindfully was natural to me back then, i didn't need a guide or self help cd (lol)...i just knew, i felt the sanctity of the moment, the sacred, simple quiet of my own thoughts in favor of the sounds coming from the forest around me...i felt that cool breeze on my face & through my hair & at eight years old i remembered...i remembered love, grace, quiet, peace...i remembered joy, i was joy...i was Spirit...when i tell people about that memory i am sometimes told i was kind of a weird kid...i guess maybe i was? but, years later, as an adult, finally i am more & more embracing my "weirdness" & i'm not faking who i am or what i believe so that others might like or respect me...i dig this track i'm on, i am good with being a little out there or, as i was told often in my childhood, living with my head in the clouds...my feet are firmly planted in the soil, digging in because, after all, i am a work in progress...i reflect on the many, many poor choices i have made & i am, one by one, forgiving myself for those errors in judgment...self forgiveness & self love are crucial to living your best life & to being an example...i am digging in & facing my own mirror, many times with great effort because the view can be dark, but i'm seeking the lessons taught by consequences & finding the light through it all...personal responsibility brings with it power, the kind of quiet strength that keeps one humble...there is a quiet i am feeling that has nothing to do with the noise outside of myself...i want to cultivate this quiet...i am in Love with this quiet & i know this quiet is God...i feel no need to prove what i know or to to argue with others over what they know...this is a place in my soul that gives me peace & needs no definition or explanation...i'm cool with it... :)

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