as i sit and reflect the last few months it occurs to me...all this time i've been searching (albeit unconciously) some grand adventure...i'm a fix it girl...an, anything is possible dream believer...an activist at heart, i get pissed on principle and fight good fights even when the good fight is really bad...and then...i wake up...my grand adventure is right here...right now...this life, this beautiful, ugly, hard...sweet song of a life...and it is calling on me to live it...
the good fight sleeps in the bedroom across from mine...she is 15 and angry...and i am, apparently, the devil...i love this little girl...this young woman...i am proud of her...she amazes me and, my job right now is simply to hang in there...oh, but it is hard and it hurts...i can do nothing right it seems...yet, do something i must...the question is, 'what?'...and then i realize...
just be there...
there is a 13 year old i miss...everyday i think of her...blonde and blue eyed, she is this mystery i wish to uncover...i only hope and i only pray that someday she and i can sit and talk the simple talk...even as she asks the hard questions...i will be her open book...
and then, there are my two babies...7 and 6...my 7 year old is so different from me but, so like me...she understands the moon...and the rain...and the importance of looking another in the eye...my 6 year old...she understands real hugs, real kisses...real love...
and they all mean everything to me...they are my good fights...my only principles for living...they are the breath i breathe and the beat of my heart...1, 2, 3, 4....my baby girls four...
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Very good. Very personal. Very self revealing. Find them. Find you. Be you.
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