me thinks...

'me thinks', said the proclaimed harlot, in a moment of quiet introspection and safe haven from the judgments of the self righteous as they sat upon their high horses and were momentarily distracted...'me thinks that sometimes, to reach the sacred, to reach the holy...one must first delve in the darkness...one must first wallow in the evil that is possible in all mankind...possible but not insurmountable, because, before there was evil, there was and is always...light...i have done things i regret, yet...had i not trespassed in those most darkest of places, would i know the brilliance and utter beauty of the light? would the joy i feel as i take the hand of the most High be so complete if i hadn't fallen so far? i own my Truth...because for so long i was fooled by lies...i know my Sacredness...because for so long i thought i was unworthy...i am treasured and i treasure that which calls to me...the Great I Am...I AM...i always have been...i just got lost for a minute...distracted by the judgments of other lost souls who themselves are distracted...ah, but their search will one day come to a discovery...just has mine has...our light is always and in all ways lighting our way Home...

homage to 2010

This was the year that changed everything.
Thru one of the most painful heartbreaks I have ever felt,
I was reminded that now is the time to let people know you love them-NOW.
To live on knowing you didn't tell them when you had the chance
is a pain that never leaves you; it becomes part of you-a thread in the fabric that is you.
I learned to think before passing judgment and that, frankly, judging another's choices is
a worthless waste of time because I've not walked on their path.
I learned to see the mirror in the people around me and to be honest with the reflection
gazing back at me.
I learned that truly listening is an active endeavor and that sometimes, if you listen close
enough, you will hear what they aren't brave enough to tell you.
Sometimes, that is what they need you most to hear.
I learned that when a person dies, it is very easy to get caught up in the death, the regret
of lost moments. We must remember their life...they LIVED! They live in our memories and become
part of our daily lives as we move forward.
I have learned to value each beautiful sky, every soft breeze, the gentle kiss, even the casual
handshake and song sung off key. All these and more decorate the force that is Life and whatever you
believe, you are filled with this force. Every breath you take is in homage to the Energy that has you here.
What will you do with this Life?
What will you learn?
(dedicated to the memories of my brother, Steven,
my friend, Gilbert, his wife Sandra &
their children, Nicholas & Emma...RIP)

Just for now

Just for now...
can you pretend
that honor means something,
that a man's word carries weight?

Just for now...
can you pretend
that truth outweighs convenience,
that love is worth the fight?

Just for now...
can you pretend
and look me in the eye,
hold true to your integrity?

Just for now...
can my tears and my fears be set aside,
can you be real?

Just for now
and maybe, just maybe-
for always?

lost pieces of my soul

I keep lighting candles,
hoping to light a path
for those lost pieces of my soul
yearning to come back...
yearning to come home...
to me...

threshhold

I met a man standing on the threshhold of what once was and
what can be.
His present moment is one of inner turmoil and regret
as this man comes to terms with his new life.
If this man were to ask me for my advice I would say,
simply...forgive thyself.
First and foremost...forgive thyself.

now

You gotta make 'right now' count-
Life is too fragile...
our hold too precarious...
Life can be taken away-
at the snap of our fingers,
at the snap of our tenuous hold...
Our Souls can take only so much-
now is the time,
now is all we have...

boxes

People-invisible boxes-
prisons containing us all-
in order to break out, we have to delve within...
deep, deep within...

connect

When was the last time you let y'self connect?
When was the last time you felt something?
Looked another in the eye and gave a shit?
It means something you know...
I daresay...in the big scheme of things...
it means everything...

Lover's Leaving

By the light of the full moon, love me, then leave before the dawn breaks.
Feathery soft kisses on my face, love me, then leave before my heart breaks.

Cinderella

Hold me tight, with gentle care...
Love me tonight, in the night air.
Kiss my lips once, twice, three times...
Then leave me my love, before the clock chimes.

nothing

nothing is the same...
nothing matters...
nothing feels right...
and this nothing-
has become everything...

A mother's mourning...

When a mother mourns her child, you can't tell from the sound of her cries whether she is a Muslim or a Christian, whether her child was gay or straight, whether her child was a good person or did bad things. When a mother mourns her child, what you can tell is she loved her baby, without condition. She had hopes, dreams and only wanted her child to be happy. Whatever the rest of the world might think about her child, when a mother mourns him or her, you know her pain...there is no pain like it.

dramatic

Perhaps I've worn out my welcome? I didn't think that could happen with a real friend. So, if I'm correct in this idea, what then does this make our friendship? Maybe I'm just assuming the worst, I do tend toward the dramatic. Yet, what's a girl to think when communication is ignored? The mind will fill in the gaps as they present themselves and the heart? This fragile heart will don an armor you won't soon penetrate.

don't (a different version)

I don't like that...
I don't appreciate it...
I don't deserve it.
So, if you choose to continue,
the next time you wanna step to me...
...don't.

choose

The best we can do-
all we can do is
the best we can do.
As I write, my heart aches...
my heart laughs...
my heart lives.
Life continues and a choice is presented-
to be present or not...
I choose to be present...
I choose to awaken...
I choose to laugh...
I choose to honor my loved ones...
All of them.
I choose to live
and ultimately,
with all my heart and soul,
I choose to love...
I CHOOSE TO LOVE...

existence

We have explanations. We write off that which is "magic". We have all the answers. What do we do when all the "answers" don't answer our deepest longings? Should we write off our longings? NO!!! Scream to the highest heavens-our deepest longings define us, they carry us beyond our limits and we must follow if our very existence means anything.

this moment

I stretch my arms out wide and gaze up-the sky is filled with the promise of rain, thunder and lightning vying for my attention. My Spirit dances within, my eyes shine with a joy separate from any joy man's world could possibly bestow upon me. My joy comes from the freedom of wild things-from mountains that reach the heavens, from breezes soft and the pungent smell of a cleansing rain. My joy comes from the sweet smile of a child as he gazes into my eyes and reminds me what pure love is. My joy comes from letting fall all facades, from that moment when all there is this moment and this moment simply, sweetly, is all there ever was.

memories shared

I remember a story about a village somewhere in Africa. In this village, whenever one of its members went "off track", so to speak, and began to hurt themselves or others, the village would do the craziest thing. They would surround this certain someone and take turns. Each individual member of this village would take a turn sharing a memory about this lost person. If it took all day, then it took all day; everyone had the opportunity to speak up about why this person was so loved, so vital to their village. What if we, in this society, took on such a practice, beginning with our families? How different, how much better would we be as a whole? Instead of tearing each other down for our mistakes, what if we turned our focus to that which is good and precious in each of us? What if? I think we're so busy being angry at each other for our transgressions, we have forgotten that life goes on and we are all dynamic, ever-changing and capable of being better. We are missing out on what is so good inside each and everyone of us.

awakened

i set out to prove everyone wrong
i focused on changing opinions,
on convincing everyone i was worth listening to
i didn't realize that while i was so busy paying attention
to what others thought,
i'd lost track of myself
i stopped growing, my Spirit caught in a place of anger and blame
this dark place threatened to swallow me up
and then...i woke up
you left us and by your leaving, my world was jarred
i woke up

i will never sleep again...

simply complex

As simple as we want it to be...
life is so complex...
and yet...
as complex as life can be...
it is so simple...